About aliciacleopatra : i'm alicia. i like fmls because they make me laugh. Ok
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Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41000) - you deserved it (3690)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14031) - you deserved it (29664)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17683) - you deserved it (3106)
On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6728) - you deserved it (18180)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (12952)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11496) - you deserved it (46596)
On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44676) - you deserved it (4970)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11287) - you deserved it (37846)
On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (15863) - you deserved it (27882)
On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6543) - you deserved it (27105)
On 06/28/2010 at 4:35pm - misc - by WelcomeWagon - United States
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25605) - you deserved it (6421)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37336) - you deserved it (2178)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by oh_its_true (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I made a date to try to save our relationship. I sat in his room for hours while he watched YouTube videos of World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36603) - you deserved it (5590)
On 07/30/2009 at 4:11am - love - by adsfkerfmpo (woman) - United States (California) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13485) - you deserved it (163855)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally had my tongue piercing heal up so I decided to try oral on my girl. Unfortunately, she has a hood piercing that got caught on my tongue ring, and neither of us could get them apart. We had to call my mom in to solve the problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45086) - you deserved it (86725)
On 03/25/2009 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Truan (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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