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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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alicia_was_here

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alicia_was_here
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2321
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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alicia_was_here's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbors put up their Christmas lights. They blink red and green on and off. Ever since they put them up, my dog hasn't stopped barking. It's 2:00AM. FML

#14228655 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (17092) - you deserved it (2404)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:28pm - animals - by Annonymous -

Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (29754) - you deserved it (7069)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (8324) - you deserved it (58308)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

#13937694 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (22596) - you deserved it (7354)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (28354) - you deserved it (9243)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

#13823528 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (42786) - you deserved it (5968)

On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (1877)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (5966) - you deserved it (25835)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31076) - you deserved it (10652)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (30163) - you deserved it (7291)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

#9037311 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (15960) - you deserved it (1819)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

#8980708 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (20253) - you deserved it (4837)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Illinois)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (6914)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (1768)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)