Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alicia_was_here

Search for a member

alicia_was_here
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2976
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alicia_was_here's last visitors

colby6666umidontremberashleyrogers76regenerateAndiccwGx14qwerty124why_teh_hellitzypedia

alicia_was_here's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

alicia_was_here's favorite FMLs

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (7695)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11580) - you deserved it (79454)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

#13937694
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (9497)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34606) - you deserved it (11919)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (2619)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6678) - you deserved it (28489)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37605) - you deserved it (14404)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36087) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

#9037311
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19488) - you deserved it (2474)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38693) - you deserved it (8817)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (2425)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (3814)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: