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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shrt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on yur daughter's face last night." I ran into my grlfriend's parents at the store. FML
Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out . My 4 year old scootd under the table to sit next to his brother . When he poppd up on the other side, he exclaimd, ( Mommy! You forgot to put on yur underwears! ) People were staring . FML
Today, mah football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
Today, I had first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. mega FML
Yesterday, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, ( Wash looool Me. ) After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
Today, mah cell phone broke. It wouldn't even turn on. I went online to access mah account so that I could order a new phone. I couldn't remember mah password. The phone company had an option of "forgot mah password". Upon clicking I get a message saying "Your password will be sent to yur phone". FML
Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into shirt pocket and said ( have a drink on me. ) When I got to truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
Today... I Came Home And Saw On Our Fridge... "Please Don't Drink Anymore... I Really Worry About Yur Health" Written By Mah 7-year-old Daughter. I Figured She Wouldn't Ever Fine Out... So I Opened The Fridge. But I Found Another Note On A Can That Said "So Your Going To Drink Anyway?" FML
Today my son said "Mommy sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replid "Well honey that's normal an okay." I then askd when it happens to which he said "Well sometimes when watching Scooby Doo an Shaggy comes out dressd in lady clothes." mega FML
Today , while I was out to eat , I was approachd by the restaurant manager !! He told me that while he respectd mah personal choices , his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who usd to be a man using the women's restroom !! He thought I was a transsexual !! I am a naturally-born female !! FML
Today, I went to a party an the cops came to bust the party. I jumpd out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrestd. I broke mah leg in three places an got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML
Friday 27 March 2015