Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

aliceivers

Search for a member

aliceivers
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 761
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

aliceivers's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

aliceivers's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

#15034868
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36227) - you deserved it (7563)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

#15029683
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31147) - you deserved it (7292)

On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30757) - you deserved it (3886)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

#14579173
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (4588)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104486) - you deserved it (14017)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML

#14170475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34202) - you deserved it (2342)

On 12/11/2010 at 8:55pm - misc - by kingkarnie - United States

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

#14079841
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24363) - you deserved it (9644)

On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18856) - you deserved it (56873)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30808) - you deserved it (2165)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because 'I look like his hamster when I'm eating sunflower seeds.' FML

#13285229
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (4165)

On 10/02/2010 at 2:28am - love - by ohman - Singapore

Today, I hired somebody to send me love letters. I'm that lonely. FML

#11890639
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33942) - you deserved it (17760)

On 07/15/2010 at 1:19am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

#11586440
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32072) - you deserved it (6993)

On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went downstairs after a family argument. The front door was kicked in, the sink faucet was snapped off, and there were broken plates all over the kitchen floor. I later found out that the argument was over who left the refrigerator door open. FML

#11017232
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25958) - you deserved it (1900)

On 06/06/2010 at 7:48pm - misc - by mark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: