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aliceivers

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aliceivers

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1481
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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aliceivers's page activity

Visits<b>iamkats</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:21pm

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

aliceivers's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115329) - you deserved it (8152)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74101) - you deserved it (10157)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15408) - you deserved it (74111)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
702 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75585) - you deserved it (16434)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32746) - you deserved it (54930)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

#15364230
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34294) - you deserved it (4021)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20543) - you deserved it (88116)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (94080)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (9315)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML

#15260624
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (4020)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:17am - misc - by hackling fellow -

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

#15243539
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (7578)

On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52157) - you deserved it (14633)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

#15102397
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35496) - you deserved it (16663)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

#15098131
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (9240)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by JustADream (man) - United States (California)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (34641)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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