aliceivers

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aliceivers

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1700
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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aliceivers's page activity

Visits<b>iamkats</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:21pm

aliceivers's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

aliceivers's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

by Cecilly2010 / 04/28/2011 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

by Chad / 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm / United States / Money

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 9:56am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 8:03am / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

by weirdome23 / 04/26/2011 at 5:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML

by crizzy / 04/23/2011 at 8:08pm / United States / Love

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

by randa / 04/19/2011 at 2:38am / Kids

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

by Wendie / 04/18/2011 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

by davka / 04/18/2011 at 11:09am / Work

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

by Carmen / 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

by oc_cheergirl / 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy