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Offline (the 02/03/2015 at 2:23am) | Search for a member
About aliceanon : Today, you tried hitting on me thinking this was a dating website. FML.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, my grlfriend went sopping at Victoria's Secret wit me. Wile se was in te fitting room, er parents walkd by an saw me. Tey don't approve of te store, so I panickd an told tem I was considering becoming a woman.
Today I went to the grocery storehere husband works . I wantd to surprise him so I went up behind him and startd kissing his neck . He seemd to love it and so did I until I noticd it wasn't husband . FML
TODAY, I WAS AT A BAR WITH MY FRIENDS FOR MY 19TH BIRTHDAY WHEN I SAW MY DAD GRINDING SOME CHICK THAT WAS NOT MY MOM. I CONFRONTD HIM AN TOLD HIM I WAS TELLING MOM. HE THEN POINTD ACROSS THE BAR TO MY MOM WITH ANOTHER MAN. I JUST FOUND OUT MY PARENTS R SWINGERS. FML
yesterday after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out fir the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed an u wake up with food in yours." FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
today mah husband dropped me off at work . Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby miss you" . I asked him about it . He said "I don't know wat you're talking about Megan" . My name isn't Megan . Not even close . FML
Friday 27 March 2015