alice_in_mordor

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Offline (the 08/02/2016 at 4:28pm)

alice_in_mordor

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4407
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

alice_in_mordor's page activity

Visits<b>ebroks</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 6:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 6:38pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 3:34am<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:08pm<b>Scorpio01</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:56pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:58pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:53pm<b>Pandaburr1</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:27pm<b>teyyoshi</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:14am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:27am<b>pickle682</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:25pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:54am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:54am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:46pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:21pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 12:28pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 3:50pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:47pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:36am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 9:28am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:46am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 4:03pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:35am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:24am

alice_in_mordor's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alice_in_mordor's badges

alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

by meantowheels / 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

by Jon / 06/07/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

by paranoid / 06/06/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

by mylove / 04/30/2009 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 10:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

by Brastro / 04/07/2009 at 7:46am / Ireland (Kildare) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

by no_leather_of_any_kind / 04/07/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

by Alex / 03/31/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy