Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alice_in_mordor

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

alice_in_mordor

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1514
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

alice_in_mordor's page activity

Visits<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:45pm<b>medic8</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:17pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 7:06pm<b>buckeyefan16</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:30am<b>TheIlluminatii</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 7:34pm<b>woiz</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:40am<b>tapin360</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 9:03am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 1:33pm<b>kaliande</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:26am<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:38am<b>Medhi</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 6:02pm<b>olpally</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 10:05am<b>himwhomlaughs</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:49pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:29am<b>JRT1393</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 7:56pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 7:08am<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:21am<b>Jacob_G</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 2:24am

Liked!<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:35am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:24am

alice_in_mordor's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of alice_in_mordor's badges

alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML

#16323667
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (4912)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:54am - misc - by Adam -

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML

#16040668
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9814) - you deserved it (81110)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:33am - love - by Cuppycake (woman) - Canada

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (45775)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37236) - you deserved it (31527)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally responded "Yeth ma'am". She ended the tour right there. FML

#14910524
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7810) - you deserved it (60811)

On 02/09/2011 at 3:56pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (3227)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99343) - you deserved it (5417)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27564) - you deserved it (9168)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

#13830899
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31174) - you deserved it (4509)

On 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

#13304809
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (2900)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30965) - you deserved it (3351)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

#13036561
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20279) - you deserved it (11417)

On 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

#12506969
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8991) - you deserved it (45933)

On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

#11558883
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9441) - you deserved it (29389)

On 06/30/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: