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alice_in_mordor

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alice_in_mordor

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1985
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

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Visits<b>Holybatman</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:18am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:12am<b>Niedermayer_20</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:15pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:09pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 7:17pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:15pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:22pm<b>TheWiseWolf</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:55pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:08pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:43am<b>PairofSocks</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:09pm<b>manda_xD</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:37pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:45pm<b>medic8</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:17pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 7:06pm<b>buckeyefan16</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:30am<b>TheIlluminatii</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 7:34pm<b>woiz</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:40am

Liked!<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:35am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:24am

alice_in_mordor's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alice_in_mordor's badges

alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

#16746008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33494) - you deserved it (6781)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

#16673731
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15410) - you deserved it (33613)

On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

#16666197
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8755) - you deserved it (50770)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36865) - you deserved it (2969)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32258) - you deserved it (14488)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML

#16323667
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28808) - you deserved it (4915)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:54am - misc - by Adam -

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML

#16040668
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9832) - you deserved it (81258)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:33am - love - by Cuppycake (woman) - Canada

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25722) - you deserved it (45830)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38455) - you deserved it (32084)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally responded "Yeth ma'am". She ended the tour right there. FML

#14910524
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8315) - you deserved it (62993)

On 02/09/2011 at 3:56pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69986) - you deserved it (6583)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30187) - you deserved it (3233)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99750) - you deserved it (5431)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (9235)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

#13830899
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31259) - you deserved it (4511)

On 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)



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