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alice_in_mordor

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alice_in_mordor

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2574
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

alice_in_mordor's page activity

Visits<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:54am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:46pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:21pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 12:28pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 3:50pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:47pm<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:10am<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:38am<b>linemanjason</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:03pm<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:03am<b>minimanion</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:14am<b>wtffml1979</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:16am<b>Cliff6pc</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:18am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:12am<b>Niedermayer_20</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:15pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:09pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 7:17pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:46am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 4:03pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:35am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:24am

alice_in_mordor's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alice_in_mordor's badges

alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

#19933924
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (6909)

On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (6469)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (1820)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

#19822934
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12011) - you deserved it (26483)

On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37689) - you deserved it (8976)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (7723)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14313) - you deserved it (43723)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10485) - you deserved it (35738)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

#19447038
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9560) - you deserved it (22777)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49689) - you deserved it (4860)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you deserved it (26692)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML

#18742871
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (2679)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by musicislife1337 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30098) - you deserved it (7674)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa



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