Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alice_in_mordor

Search for a member

alice_in_mordor
  • Town/Country : Mordor, British Columbia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 641
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

alice_in_mordor's last visitors

ireply_wlyricsrkdstp1995TthugMartinez0285livelikelyThenextguyoverMortenM

alice_in_mordor's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of alice_in_mordor's badges

alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27548) - you deserved it (6902)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10327) - you deserved it (29898)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (30606)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

#19447038
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9041) - you deserved it (21568)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (4210)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7079) - you deserved it (23183)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML

#18742871
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (2374)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by musicislife1337 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (7441)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

#18287242
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14038) - you deserved it (38144)

On 11/19/2011 at 6:42am - love - by kaybax - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19194) - you deserved it (32190)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34804) - you deserved it (2499)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

#16746008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (6536)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

#16673731
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14142) - you deserved it (31552)

On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

#16666197
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7909) - you deserved it (47722)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30781) - you deserved it (2134)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: