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alice_in_mordor

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alice_in_mordor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1008
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

alice_in_mordor's page activity

Visits<b>boricualuv</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 7:20pm<b>cyzn</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Wamelye</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 3:50pm<b>meganlovestea</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:45am<b>dk1991</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:09pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:16pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 5:42am<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:19pm<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 6:53am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 10:08pm<b>sallee23444</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:39pm<b>hatebreeder666</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 6:04pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 5:56pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 6:27am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 3:25am<b>Tthug</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:02pm<b>darnellq</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:42am

alice_in_mordor's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of alice_in_mordor's badges

alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11539) - you deserved it (32834)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10687) - you deserved it (36778)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

#19948855
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6411) - you deserved it (20563)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22779) - you deserved it (1645)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

#19822934
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11484) - you deserved it (25715)

On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34966) - you deserved it (8638)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30593) - you deserved it (7416)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13129) - you deserved it (41274)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9473) - you deserved it (33206)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

#19447038
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9467) - you deserved it (22528)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46921) - you deserved it (4575)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7670) - you deserved it (24788)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML

#18742871
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (2662)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by musicislife1337 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29788) - you deserved it (7633)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa



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