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alice_in_mordor

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alice_in_mordor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 941
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

alice_in_mordor's page activity

Visits<b>cyzn</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Wamelye</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 3:50pm<b>meganlovestea</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:45am<b>dk1991</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:09pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:16pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 5:42am<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:19pm<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 6:53am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 10:08pm<b>sallee23444</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:39pm<b>hatebreeder666</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 6:04pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 5:56pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 6:27am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 3:25am<b>Tthug</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:02pm<b>darnellq</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:42am<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 2:15am

alice_in_mordor's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

#19822934
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10065) - you deserved it (22802)

On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32995) - you deserved it (8348)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (6929)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13064) - you deserved it (41128)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8498) - you deserved it (30810)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

#19447038
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9076) - you deserved it (21698)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43909) - you deserved it (4224)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7114) - you deserved it (23318)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML

#18742871
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23499) - you deserved it (2384)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by musicislife1337 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (7456)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

#18287242
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15765) - you deserved it (41065)

On 11/19/2011 at 6:42am - love - by kaybax - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (32344)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37720) - you deserved it (2730)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

#16746008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32713) - you deserved it (6683)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

#16673731
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14216) - you deserved it (31653)

On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States



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