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alice39

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alice39

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  • Number of visits : 67
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alice39's page activity

Visits<b>DWordHead16</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 9:02pm

alice39's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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alice39's favorite FMLs

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48537) - you deserved it (8066) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49402) - you deserved it (8735)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39064) - you deserved it (5330)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7631) - you deserved it (23811)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

#19910434
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6545) - you deserved it (37095) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2012 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

#18898417
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34651) - you deserved it (2987)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (3697)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (25041)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

#7668183
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (9432)

On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML

#6430848
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22993) - you deserved it (7018)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:03am - health - by cc (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1156622) - you deserved it (115896)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

#3797
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17869) - you deserved it (4282)

On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)



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