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alibear7

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alibear7

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2683
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About alibear7 : I'm cool shit.
Wanna get to know me? Message me.

alibear7's page activity

Visits<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 7:57pm<b>peopleses1</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:13pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 7:01pm<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 7:21pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 8:40am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 5:34am<b>lexjluther</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:02am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:03am<b>olpally</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:26am<b>error404n0tf0und</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 7:48pm<b>SeaMonkey87</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 8:47pm<b>ttr125</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 10:12pm<b>andy1500726</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 10:53pm<b>winno</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 12:41am<b>sillybilly132</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:12pm<b>cd8919</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 12:38pm<b>beavertree</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 3:39pm<b>DejonE</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 9:32pm

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alibear7's favorite FMLs

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

#3006187
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45021) - you deserved it (7724)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:07pm - health - by asthmatic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt... into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML

#2846826
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10602) - you deserved it (69932)

On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119101) - you deserved it (73898)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21434) - you deserved it (56283)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

#2720571
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16010) - you deserved it (54172)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:44pm - love - by twowords (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

#2682803
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12508) - you deserved it (72069)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to Macy's to buy some bras. After I paid, the old lady cashier noticed there was pen on one of the bras. By accident I blurted out "It's alright. No one's seeing them." The old lady nodded back in agreement. FML

#2459641
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40046) - you deserved it (9529)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by yikes78 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59739) - you deserved it (13435)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

#2395953
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10022) - you deserved it (50943)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by M2thaM (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

#2387828
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61324) - you deserved it (5012)

On 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by Jeanine (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17518) - you deserved it (62636)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

#2209571
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50201) - you deserved it (7945)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

#2003683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50941) - you deserved it (7865)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

#1973503
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14917) - you deserved it (53549)

On 05/16/2009 at 8:21am - animals - by killer (woman) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75212) - you deserved it (6500)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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