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alexx096

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alexx096

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 970
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Visits<b>challan</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 12:57am

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alexx096's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31242) - you deserved it (7490)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11432) - you deserved it (151954)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

#20022569
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (4870)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17327) - you deserved it (7222)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29258) - you deserved it (2281)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

#19993573
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14204) - you deserved it (37541)

On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (4189)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (4189)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

#19987750
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22647) - you deserved it (7950)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (3423)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

#19986009
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (2010)

On 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm - misc - by Carrie G. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

#19985281
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25282) - you deserved it (4547)

On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML

#19978761
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27139) - you deserved it (3642)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:31am - animals - by Lola -

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34105) - you deserved it (39520)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States



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