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alexx096

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alexx096

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 October 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 874
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Visits<b>challan</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 12:57am

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alexx096's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7614) - you deserved it (23758)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74863) - you deserved it (8764)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (2020)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32998) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (6420)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (1827)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

#20090283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (2297)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (10856)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

#20046536
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16084) - you deserved it (37789)

On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23228) - you deserved it (2018)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

#20040897
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11924) - you deserved it (22515)

On 08/25/2012 at 12:06pm - work - by Michael D. (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML



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