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Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53218) - you deserved it (7360)
On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44566) - you deserved it (6101)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58253) - you deserved it (5853)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (58759)
On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44081) - you deserved it (3947)
On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58314) - you deserved it (6864)
On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States
Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44022) - you deserved it (3715)
On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (5453)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45976) - you deserved it (5408)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23310) - you deserved it (28711)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -
Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62483) - you deserved it (2571)
On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (3424)
On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29654) - you deserved it (6081)
On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12039) - you deserved it (44943)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31042) - you deserved it (4460)
On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
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