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Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32471) - you deserved it (2910)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57048) - you deserved it (5622)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44098) - you deserved it (4190)
On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went into labor a week earlier than expected. My husband is four hours away on business, and my sister refused to take me unless I paid her $1,000. I had to call 911 and almost gave birth in the kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59007) - you deserved it (2768)
On 06/07/2013 at 5:09am - misc - by shesabitch - United States (California)
Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43522) - you deserved it (2543)
On 06/06/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Applejacks18 (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49638) - you deserved it (5168)
On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66662) - you deserved it (8666)
On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45936) - you deserved it (20987)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50260) - you deserved it (15457)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (8605)
On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24244) - you deserved it (35404)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43784) - you deserved it (5891)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53133) - you deserved it (3053)
On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36199) - you deserved it (4368)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64584) - you deserved it (3718)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Monday 17 June 2013
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