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Today, I saw a fight and went 'right!' and marched over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8396) - you totally deserved it (26821)
On 08/29/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by deven (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you totally deserved it (3516)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm 'a self-absorbed bitch'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you totally deserved it (5086)
On 08/24/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Constanta)
Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8521) - you totally deserved it (24969)
On 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm - kids - by mrteacher (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you totally deserved it (2118)
On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - kids - by Ben (man) - United States
Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9573) - you totally deserved it (27140)
On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss. She said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27553) - you totally deserved it (9320)
On 08/19/2009 at 8:01pm - work - by SweetFA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I wore the new bathing suit my boyfriend got me for my birthday to a family reunion pool party. Turns out, it was a gag gift that dissolves after 3 minutes in water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47997) - you totally deserved it (3621)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14043) - you totally deserved it (36193)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4658) - you totally deserved it (69020)
On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you totally deserved it (8148)
On 08/09/2009 at 10:13pm - health - by Ducati (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7052) - you totally deserved it (40992)
On 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by pwndbykidz (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you totally deserved it (5704)
On 08/09/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by grabber (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12805) - you totally deserved it (25910)
On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, the car I was in got pulled over by the police for making an illegal turn. I was in a cab. And he kept the meter running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you totally deserved it (1362)
On 08/07/2009 at 2:29pm - misc - by LT (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
