About alexmac222 : My name is Alex and I'm from Phoenix, Arizona. I'm an avid FMyLife reader. :)
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
alexmac222's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
by half-dead in CA / 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Health
by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, I'm babysitting two 6 year old kids. One of them won't stop screaming, and the other kid found his mom's vibrator and won't stop playing spaceship with it. The parents will be home in an hour. FML
by moomanjohnny / 05/31/2014 at 2:40am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML
by lahiros / 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by wow / 05/28/2014 at 7:08pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by dear god why / 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by PsychoBillyGoat / 05/25/2014 at 8:47pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML
by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
by HomicidalPegasus / 05/25/2014 at 11:50am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML
by Ace / 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML
by sothishappened / 05/20/2014 at 5:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by SmittyJA24 / 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was called by my one night stand. She informed me she was pregnant with my child, i asked… Today, we were pulling up to KFC when my mom asked what I would want. I said I wanted a breast, to… Today, a guy I've been seeing recently stayed over for the first time. In the morning, he kissed me…