alexm501

Search for a member

alexm501

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3376
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

alexm501's page activity

Visits<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 8:51pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:27am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:45am<b>jb591</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:32am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:17am<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 3:51pm<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:21am<b>pinkblonde5</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:55am<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Stephanoze</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:32am<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:10pm<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 10:16am<b>ThatDerpyKid37</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:56am<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:03am<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:11am<b>kaitlynoliver11</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:20pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:00pm<b>ZiaLynn</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:51am

alexm501's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alexm501's favorite FMLs

Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 12:17pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

by oaksac191 / 10/26/2010 at 12:50pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

by sly / 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

by Lauren Smith / 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

by jabba / 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

by sleepwalker / 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML

by Jorgina226 / 08/11/2010 at 12:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 6:12am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Transportation

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

by OhNo / 07/13/2010 at 11:02am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

by megaladon / 06/28/2010 at 4:12am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

by Oops / 05/23/2010 at 5:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

by tallwoman / 05/18/2010 at 2:57pm / Denmark (Arhus) / Health