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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4448
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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alexm501's page activity

Visits<b>vsinha</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:20pm<b>VivMarah</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 11:35pm<b>capscapscaps43</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 10:02pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 8:51pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:27am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:45am<b>jb591</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:32am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:17am<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 3:51pm<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:21am<b>pinkblonde5</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:55am<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Stephanoze</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:32am<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:10pm<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 10:16am<b>ThatDerpyKid37</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:56am<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:03am<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:11am

alexm501's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alexm501's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

by embarassed / 03/20/2011 at 12:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was at the grocery store when an elderly woman walked up to me and said, "Why can't every guy be as handsome as you?" I would have been flattered by the comment, if I was a guy. FML

by blk8764 / 03/15/2011 at 6:35pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

by nick / 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

by devinbyrne / 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

by paperbox / 01/16/2011 at 12:07am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

by infected / 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm / Denmark / Health

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous