Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alexm501

Search for a member

alexm501

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1678
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alexm501's page activity

Visits<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:55pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:56am<b>forevralone</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:39pm<b>DeafGirl124</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 12:35am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:03am<b>liqtpie</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:20pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:03am<b>mazinger_Z</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:42am<b>maddieannebaker</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:09am<b>CammyGal</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:23am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 3:06am<b>cnewton84</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:06pm<b>dearkarina_</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:12am<b>fightforyourlife</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 8:39am<b>spiers1</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 2:03am<b>dbaguy</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 4:01pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:03pm

alexm501's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alexm501's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34758) - you deserved it (4333)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

#15392529
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32439) - you deserved it (9417)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by embarassed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the grocery store when an elderly woman walked up to me and said, "Why can't every guy be as handsome as you?" I would have been flattered by the comment, if I was a guy. FML

#15324992
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34005) - you deserved it (4322)

On 03/15/2011 at 6:35pm - misc - by blk8764 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11349) - you deserved it (36709)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37750) - you deserved it (6414)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36567) - you deserved it (6531)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36912) - you deserved it (3333)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40659) - you deserved it (3316)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7248) - you deserved it (96431)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

#14596121
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44556) - you deserved it (2860)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by paperbox (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

#14397840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (37465)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - health - by infected - Denmark

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40006) - you deserved it (9499)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40471) - you deserved it (5370)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

#13853853
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32152) - you deserved it (2709)

On 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

#13816723
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (4433)

On 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: