Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alexm501

Search for a member

alexm501

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1689
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alexm501's page activity

Visits<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:55pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:56am<b>forevralone</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:39pm<b>DeafGirl124</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 12:35am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:03am<b>liqtpie</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:20pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:03am<b>mazinger_Z</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:42am<b>maddieannebaker</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:09am<b>CammyGal</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:23am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 3:06am<b>cnewton84</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:06pm<b>dearkarina_</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:12am<b>fightforyourlife</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 8:39am<b>spiers1</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 2:03am<b>dbaguy</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 4:01pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:03pm

alexm501's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alexm501's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16904) - you deserved it (30686)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML

#17844542
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26618) - you deserved it (2167)

On 09/27/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16739) - you deserved it (46977)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7706) - you deserved it (60090)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7706) - you deserved it (60090)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML

#17612876
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (2068)

On 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30814) - you deserved it (12311)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a week of sporting what I thought was a flattering pixie cut, I realised that without my long hair, my body shape closely resembles a snowman's. FML

#17461404
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21728) - you deserved it (9564)

On 08/13/2011 at 4:29pm - misc - by Karin (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12489) - you deserved it (32348)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

#17424744
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (9045)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:46am - health - by auntoftheyear - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9739) - you deserved it (72199)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

#17364293
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38263) - you deserved it (3616)

On 08/04/2011 at 4:30am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML

#17332249
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29113) - you deserved it (11693)

On 08/01/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by howniceofyou (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

#17279585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (9475)

On 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm - kids - by corasmom (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

#17271800
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30500) - you deserved it (11624)

On 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by anon - Israel



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: