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alexis1997

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alexis1997
  • Town/Country : san Mateo, california
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 February 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 4039
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About alexis1997 : I love my dog. im not going 2 lie, had sex about milions timez whith almost every girl in my town. got a big sister and brother and a littel 13 year old sister. Im an adrenaline junkie when it comes 2 sports and gamez, Also in bed. I got x box live my game tage is geco17 and im a mlg. I love Chuck Norris not in a Gay way
My brother just came back from the army. I work out in 24 hour fitnees 24/7.

alexis1997's last visitors

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alexis1997's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alexis1997's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

#8416746
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25098) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/18/2010 at 7:44pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML

#8395812
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (3136)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:31am - work - by buttcrack (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34468) - you deserved it (3484)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (1614)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

#8341933
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (4258)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101005) - you deserved it (11752)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

#7562154
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9856) - you deserved it (18491)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML

#7560337
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3994) - you deserved it (28022)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML

#7551805
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26569) - you deserved it (3718)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

#7550424
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (3681)

On 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by owned (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (6599)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25373) - you deserved it (2953)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

#7540376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (2777)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:28am - animals - by CheeseMonsters (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I went down to my grandparents' house to spend some time with them. I was in the guest room when I noticed a box in the corner of the closet labelled "Crap". I opened up the box to see my Dad's John Elway Autographed Football in it. I got it for him for Christmas, it cost me $600. FML

#7536957
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (2181)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML

#7534728
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27974) - you deserved it (2006)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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