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alexis1997

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alexis1997
  • Town/Country : san Mateo, california
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 February 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 4053
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About alexis1997 : I love my dog. im not going 2 lie, had sex about milions timez whith almost every girl in my town. got a big sister and brother and a littel 13 year old sister. Im an adrenaline junkie when it comes 2 sports and gamez, Also in bed. I got x box live my game tage is geco17 and im a mlg. I love Chuck Norris not in a Gay way
My brother just came back from the army. I work out in 24 hour fitnees 24/7.

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alexis1997's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alexis1997's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

#8938594
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (2116)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by CreepedOut (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

#8921523
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24157) - you deserved it (2904)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:54pm - love - by HaleyIsabelle - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

#8554799
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28090) - you deserved it (1994)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm - health - by mynoseburns (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

#8532673
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6713) - you deserved it (25007)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm - animals - by Rafiki (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

#8519094
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5005) - you deserved it (41272)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by anna14 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

#8507501
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17695) - you deserved it (3980)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by weirdo - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML

#8455836
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (2096)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:54pm - kids - by beezybees (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (4430)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML

#8435520
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7904) - you deserved it (18464)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (2896)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20032) - you deserved it (2278)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

#8430991
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (6012)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

#8430950
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (17311)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - kids - by ohemgee23 (woman) - United States (California)



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