Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alexis1997

Search for a member

alexis1997
  • Town/Country : san Mateo, california
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 February 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 4041
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About alexis1997 : I love my dog. im not going 2 lie, had sex about milions timez whith almost every girl in my town. got a big sister and brother and a littel 13 year old sister. Im an adrenaline junkie when it comes 2 sports and gamez, Also in bed. I got x box live my game tage is geco17 and im a mlg. I love Chuck Norris not in a Gay way
My brother just came back from the army. I work out in 24 hour fitnees 24/7.

alexis1997's last visitors

Narttuannalee21jillyanzenpurplebluetattooItsMeDiegoG

alexis1997's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alexis1997's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167870) - you deserved it (25758)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (616745) - you deserved it (413676)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197313) - you deserved it (31304)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (467987) - you deserved it (23772)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (312402) - you deserved it (23430)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
992 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58840) - you deserved it (643008)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1094949) - you deserved it (108809)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (735955) - you deserved it (73963)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

#62239
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38058) - you deserved it (2516)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by morg2000 - Mexico

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213654) - you deserved it (73281)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: