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About alexis1997 : I love my dog. im not going 2 lie, had sex about milions timez whith almost every girl in my town. got a big sister and brother and a littel 13 year old sister. Im an adrenaline junkie when it comes 2 sports and gamez, Also in bed. I got x box live my game tage is geco17 and im a mlg. I love Chuck Norris not in a Gay way
My brother just came back from the army. I work out in 24 hour fitnees 24/7.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML
Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
Today, I went to a club with my friends. I told my mom that I was going to come back home at 3:00 a.m. At 3:15 a.m., my mom comes to the club, with 2 cops, wearing pyjamas, shouting my name and telling me to come back home. FML
Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
Friday 18 April 2014