alexis1997

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alexis1997

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 February 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7514
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About alexis1997 : I love my dog. im not going 2 lie, had sex about milions timez whith almost every girl in my town. got a big sister and brother and a littel 13 year old sister. Im an adrenaline junkie when it comes 2 sports and gamez, Also in bed. I got x box live my game tage is geco17 and im a mlg. I love Chuck Norris not in a Gay way
My brother just came back from the army. I work out in 24 hour fitnees 24/7.

alexis1997's page activity

Visits<b>manofmerr</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 2:39am<b>freePhantom</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 12:47pm<b>danieej27</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 12:16am<b>keyface5</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 1:32am<b>Aerosmith71</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 3:02pm<b>marryspencerreid</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 4:02am<b>1991stealth</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 1:56pm<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 4:44am<b>hwhayes01</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:56pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 2:04pm<b>holly_fly</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 12:10am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 2:59pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 7:10pm<b>proporn</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:32am<b>BlackRosey_</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:31pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:41am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:23pm<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 3:24pm

Fucked!<b>risacat</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:42pm

alexis1997's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alexis1997's favorite FMLs

Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML

by nomorepetbird / 01/05/2010 at 10:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

by Mark / 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

by leigh2812 / 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm / Love

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

by SplashOuch / 01/05/2010 at 12:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

by PJ / 01/05/2010 at 9:06am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 7:49am / India (Madhya Pradesh) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML

by brokeandsad / 01/03/2010 at 3:21pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

by PWI_addict / 01/03/2010 at 12:11pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

by dayum / 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm / Mexico (Chihuahua) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

by nosrepamai82 / 07/26/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML

by PeterRabit / 07/25/2009 at 11:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids