Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About alexis1997 : I love my dog. im not going 2 lie, had sex about milions timez whith almost every girl in my town. got a big sister and brother and a littel 13 year old sister. Im an adrenaline junkie when it comes 2 sports and gamez, Also in bed. I got x box live my game tage is geco17 and im a mlg. I love Chuck Norris not in a Gay way
My brother just came back from the army. I work out in 24 hour fitnees 24/7.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML
Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I was straightening my hair for my Christmas Eve party. I put the hot straighter down on my bed for a second, and zoned out enough to sit squarely on it a few moments later. I now have burns on my ass cheek, and a six-hour party at which I can't even sit down. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML
Today, I got a call from an ex, demanding to know why my Facebook relationship status was set as married. I got married a few months ago, and I quietly explained this to her. My wife overheard and now thinks I've been cheating all along. FML
Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML
Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML
Friday 27 February 2015