alexis083000

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Offline (the 10/16/2014 at 12:51am)

alexis083000

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alexis083000
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 2000 (15 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4513
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alexis083000's page activity

Visits<b>w0o0a</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:19pm<b>jvsoccer23</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:27am<b>thatjonesboy223</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:50am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:19pm

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alexis083000's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

by MotherMary / 10/12/2014 at 9:21am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, while waiting for a plane, a man in a wheelchair was struggling to get to baggage, so I helped him. I did so without realising that I passed through the "No Entry" gate. What did I forget? My phone, my ID, and my boarding pass. What do you need to get back to the plane? All of those. FML

by epiclollipop / 10/12/2014 at 8:52am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to write, "Do not use to freeze cat," on my bag of ice because my sister's cat died, and she refuses to bury it. FML

by MrG / 10/11/2014 at 11:14pm / United States / Animals

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

by bluevix / 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

by SeriousJoker72 / 10/10/2014 at 9:17pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML

by MainePains / 10/10/2014 at 7:27pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

by housewiththinwalls / 10/10/2014 at 7:22pm / Sweden / Intimacy

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

by TalkDirtyToMe / 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm / New Zealand / Intimacy

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

by JulietMarie / 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

by Jasmine / 10/10/2014 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML

by peak4u / 10/09/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.