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alexis083000

Offline (the 10/16/2014 at 12:51am) | Search for a member

alexis083000

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alexis083000
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 2000 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1290
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alexis083000's page activity

Visits<b>w0o0a</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:19pm<b>jvsoccer23</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:27am<b>thatjonesboy223</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:50am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:19pm

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alexis083000's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38307) - you deserved it (4185)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, while waiting for a plane, a man in a wheelchair was struggling to get to baggage, so I helped him. I did so without realising that I passed through the "No Entry" gate. What did I forget? My phone, my ID, and my boarding pass. What do you need to get back to the plane? All of those. FML

Today, I had to write, "Do not use to freeze cat," on my bag of ice because my sister's cat died, and she refuses to bury it. FML

#21275907
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (2339)

On 10/11/2014 at 11:14pm - animals - by MrG - United States

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (4969)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

#21275167
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37314) - you deserved it (2873)

On 10/10/2014 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by housewiththinwalls - Sweden

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32387) - you deserved it (19070)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31400) - you deserved it (14436)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

#21275034
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37922) - you deserved it (5738)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by TalkDirtyToMe - New Zealand

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32611) - you deserved it (2929)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (5104)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29520) - you deserved it (3163)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML



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