About alexandraa : I bleed Crimson! *RTR!!* I'm an adrenaline junkie at heart and dont like being given boundries. I like people who can be sarcastic and laugh about tense situations. I can't text and carry on a conversation at the same time, most of the time I drive with my knee and I have a hard time assuming someone isnt being honest with me. I've had the opportunity to travel a lot with my family and they're pretty much all I could ever ask for in this world. I believe I truly am lucky. Life is good.
"People believe that if you love someone hard enough things will work out.. well, people are wrong.." -One Tree Hill
"The person left smiling when things go wrong has just thought of someone to blame it on."
"..and I'm not the same I used to be. I'm tough as hell and hard to please." -Brantley Gilbert
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46734) - you deserved it (3840)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36495) - you deserved it (8819)
On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37628) - you deserved it (61545)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62796) - you deserved it (14105)
On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19175) - you deserved it (93999)
On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19601) - you deserved it (58631)
On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (380116) - you deserved it (21549)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46737) - you deserved it (127671)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (148357) - you deserved it (20731)
On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (459859) - you deserved it (571438)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (66068)
On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63494) - you deserved it (13056)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (649352) - you deserved it (11916)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177233) - you deserved it (61340)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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