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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1372
  • Number of comments : 365
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About alex_gen : #LinkinPark4Life #TeamWitt

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alex_gen's favorite FMLs

Today, I got dragged into playing doubles tennis. It was me and my wife against her parents. I wound up hitting the ball too hard. My mother-in-law, who has the reaction times of a comatose turtle, got nailed. Everyone's convinced I did it on purpose because of our mutual hatred of each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (2251)

On 10/04/2015 at 10:20am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I resorted to buying some expensive flowers and sending them to my boss anonymously with a mysterious love letter, just to get her to lighten the hell up and stop constantly harassing and berating me over every little thing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (2340)

On 09/26/2015 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat still loves me too much. He schedules his dumps for when I'm doing my makeup in the bathroom so he can stay with me. I either have to suffer the noxious odor or be late for work. This is a daily thing. FML

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40617) - you deserved it (2592)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43605) - you deserved it (15149)

On 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45842) - you deserved it (16939)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML


I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (4853)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28770) - you deserved it (7261)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11216) - you deserved it (48242)

On 04/07/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by bman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20916) - you deserved it (2271)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by freakofnature (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12255) - you deserved it (163616)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

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