Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alera

Search for a member

alera

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 July 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 148
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alera : I like to walk, and I have 2 cats who boss me around continually.

alera's page activity

Visits<b>Goblin182</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:28am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 12:31am<b>Wjanzen32</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:01am<b>FukeT_</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 3:06am<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 2:52pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 05/26/2012 at 12:50am

alera's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of alera's badges

alera's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26024) - you deserved it (12373)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13066) - you deserved it (54044) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (4897)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17242) - you deserved it (21767)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44652) - you deserved it (5608)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

#14618568
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25013) - you deserved it (6871)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62471) - you deserved it (15866)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241592) - you deserved it (31682)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: