About alera : I like to walk, and I have 2 cats who boss me around continually.
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Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (9448)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (39870) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (4403)
On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12632) - you deserved it (3130)
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37599) - you deserved it (4306)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (6211)
On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (49776)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54607) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (189235) - you deserved it (21116)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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