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Offline (the 10/20/2015 at 5:18pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 July 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 317
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alera : I like to walk, and I have 2 cats who boss me around continually.

alera's page activity

Visits<b>imadeit007</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 8:09pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 6:51am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 9:15pm<b>airassault</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:53pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 6:54am<b>shain1988</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:43pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:40pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:41am<b>JayVicious</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:30am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 2:25am<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 1:03am<b>Goblin182</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:28am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 12:31am<b>Wjanzen32</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:01am<b>FukeT_</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 3:06am<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 2:52pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 05/26/2012 at 12:50am

Fucked!<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:51pm<b>airassault</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:53pm

alera's FML badges

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alera's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

by Scarlett / 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy