alejazz95

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alejazz95

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 August 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2504
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About alejazz95 : Ello puppet :)
The name is alex,
i'm the type of girl who'd be playin my 360 instead of shoppin. i play piano, i can draw, i listen to all kinds of music (but mostly mexican music), and i watch wrestling. i'm not into the whole "lovy dovy" crap because it's annoying. i don't act like a girl but i still dress like one. enough said, bye love :)

alejazz95's page activity

Visits<b>somethingstupd</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:54pm<b>Hadreus</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 2:03pm<b>DeadlySkater</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 5:51pm<b>rugbyguy</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 11:51pm<b>Pitbull305</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 12:29am<b>ChucklesTheClown</b> - the 10/24/2011 at 12:04pm<b>biggee531</b> - the 10/11/2011 at 7:02am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:14pm<b>TheIndieStar</b> - the 09/08/2011 at 3:49pm<b>Farion</b> - the 08/03/2011 at 10:59am<b>rallets</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 9:33pm<b>danza</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 7:06am<b>lilauer13</b> - the 05/02/2011 at 8:04am<b>nates0210</b> - the 01/09/2011 at 8:50pm<b>tooLONGforYOU</b> - the 10/20/2010 at 5:10am

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alejazz95's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

by Cococautly / 07/04/2009 at 12:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

by Kimmiko / 06/04/2009 at 8:17am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Transportation

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

by anonymiss / 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

by alhummel21 / 02/12/2009 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Love