About alejazz95 : Ello puppet :)
The name is alex,
i'm the type of girl who'd be playin my 360 instead of shoppin. i play piano, i can draw, i listen to all kinds of music (but mostly mexican music), and i watch wrestling. i'm not into the whole "lovy dovy" crap because it's annoying. i don't act like a girl but i still dress like one. enough said, bye love :)
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Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33601) - you deserved it (8037)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20881) - you deserved it (14985)
On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9271) - you deserved it (64122)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30407) - you deserved it (4810)
On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40101) - you deserved it (7981)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40101) - you deserved it (7981)
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (7651)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26065) - you deserved it (9539)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19614) - you deserved it (9362)
On 11/17/2010 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by bottomdrawerraider (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33257) - you deserved it (6368)
On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19688) - you deserved it (5801)
On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7954) - you deserved it (23133)
On 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (4171)
On 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29196) - you deserved it (12835)
On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (8497) - you deserved it (25392)
On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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