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alejazz95

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alejazz95
  • Town/Country : chicago, illinois
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1244
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About alejazz95 : Ello puppet :)
The name is alex,
i'm the type of girl who'd be playin my 360 instead of shoppin. i play piano, i can draw, i listen to all kinds of music (but mostly mexican music), and i watch wrestling. i'm not into the whole "lovy dovy" crap because it's annoying. i don't act like a girl but i still dress like one. enough said, bye love :)

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alejazz95's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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alejazz95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (6398)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43148) - you deserved it (12560)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

#14930837
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6988) - you deserved it (65218)

On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14968) - you deserved it (44139)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (8826)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14488) - you deserved it (38249) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38063) - you deserved it (25747) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (18981) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

#14345671
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9898) - you deserved it (22644)

On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35248) - you deserved it (7059)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38592) - you deserved it (8374)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (3350)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

#14244528
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (4621)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:32am - love - by unattractive (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27531) - you deserved it (11707)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (2299)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States



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