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aldos21

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aldos21

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 192
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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aldos21's page activity

Visits<b>robsmit98</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:01pm<b>AlonsoKold</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:07pm

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aldos21's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55820) - you deserved it (23249)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49248) - you deserved it (5355)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55932) - you deserved it (4425)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (7569)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39104) - you deserved it (9244)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47983) - you deserved it (3793) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26951) - you deserved it (3442)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (2688)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

#8880583
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7424) - you deserved it (18015)

On 03/06/2010 at 10:56pm - work - by Maxx (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38797) - you deserved it (2952)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87720) - you deserved it (14667)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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