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alcoholmage

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alcoholmage

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1580
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About alcoholmage : I've got nothing much to say :L As a high-schooler, I occasionally find time to go on FML for reading when I have nothing to do ):

alcoholmage's page activity

Visits<b>marcusaa</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:57pm<b>JustBeingAwesome</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:25am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:33pm<b>snapper89768</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:29pm<b>pandaoprincess</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 7:00pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 9:53pm<b>kaiyybee</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 6:22pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:22am<b>loriprieto</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:17pm<b>ohioain</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 5:58am<b>shaar</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 12:50am<b>SaraAnn1401</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:56pm<b>sapoi99</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 5:55pm<b>julia2750</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:15pm<b>Rissaboo180</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 5:05pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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alcoholmage's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44538) - you deserved it (4220)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

#5128135
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41772) - you deserved it (7357)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70125) - you deserved it (2896)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14552) - you deserved it (41572)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68204) - you deserved it (3617)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67717) - you deserved it (7607)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62033) - you deserved it (9114)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML

#4407265
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (53217)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by deflated - Ireland

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (96422)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

#4054233
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32055) - you deserved it (17875)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm - health - by mobster (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

#3894865
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50827) - you deserved it (2886)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34897) - you deserved it (90558)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58349) - you deserved it (3782)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her "if I want to have sex I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you marry". She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

#3452744
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35262) - you deserved it (7574)

On 07/03/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by senelbeat - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

#3349914
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12850) - you deserved it (60190)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by ZZ - Canada (Ontario)



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