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albertozeta

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albertozeta

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  • Number of visits : 462
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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albertozeta's favorite FMLs

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39070) - you deserved it (3336)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

#21341633
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (9708)

On 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by cuckolddreams - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41632) - you deserved it (2219)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31326) - you deserved it (6494)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (5365)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26248) - you deserved it (34394)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

#21286665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (5038)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm - health - by Discipl (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38226) - you deserved it (2774)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (2739)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37699) - you deserved it (3055)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18514) - you deserved it (364954)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36890) - you deserved it (263638)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
736 comments

I agree, your life sucks (280142) - you deserved it (148266)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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