Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

albertozeta

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

albertozeta

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 390
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

albertozeta's page activity

Visits<b>zappa9</b> - yesterday at 7:12am<b>arielleK</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:46am<b>Iniezian</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:08pm<b>mandafager</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 1:53pm<b>nix1993</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 9:56am<b>PeopleLikeGrapes</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:03pm<b>delfins7</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:41pm<b>CrownedHellbound</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:05pm<b>coolboy675</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:37am<b>JLDork</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 11:10am<b>GrewSober</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:31am<b>Avenueoftrees</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 7:00am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:39pm<b>josephinema</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:19am<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:34pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 7:51am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:44pm<b>Tuffmuffin</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:19am

albertozeta's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of albertozeta's badges

albertozeta's favorite FMLs

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25192) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36135) - you deserved it (3081)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

#21341633
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (8418)

On 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by cuckolddreams - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41533) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31292) - you deserved it (6482)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35748) - you deserved it (5319)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26188) - you deserved it (34262)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

#21286665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (5035)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm - health - by Discipl (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38088) - you deserved it (2769)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35552) - you deserved it (2739)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37662) - you deserved it (3049)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18481) - you deserved it (362878)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36559) - you deserved it (262117)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
735 comments

I agree, your life sucks (278565) - you deserved it (147557)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: