About alazyguy :
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my little brother gave me a candy bar for my birthday. After I ate the entire thing, he told me it was Ex-Lax and that I needed it because I'm "so full of shit". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35122) - you deserved it (5768)
On 05/17/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by Unlucky Individual - United States (California)
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45088) - you deserved it (3680)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48059) - you deserved it (9898)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48254) - you deserved it (5779)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17477) - you deserved it (37410)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59811) - you deserved it (5750)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14111) - you deserved it (49404)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you deserved it (4145) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (2454)
On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19344) - you deserved it (29881)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36418) - you deserved it (1027)
On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27354) - you deserved it (1752)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (2920)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (3591)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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