Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alaen23

Search for a member

alaen23
  • Town/Country : South Carolina, 'MURICA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 July 2000 (13 years)
  • Number of visits : 338
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About alaen23 : I'm a crazy girl but I love everyone, PEWDIEPIE!! So yeah, I act like a country girl sometimes but academics are fun! Don't hate cause I'm a nerd. 'Swag' and 'yolo' are dumb, I will find you and shoot you If you say this. DOGS ARE F***ING AWESOME, the one on my profile is my dog snoopy ^_^.Ummm well god bless you if you sneezed and pardon me just have to go moderate some FML's now. Bye and hakuna matata!

alaen23's last visitors

RababcoAnagenisisZagusTallyFtw69actuallyahippopkfire0FATTY_MCDOOGLEMichaelT13ltaper11ZombieGuyCXVSolarFlareDJisHere11Zombiekilla3229

alaen23's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of alaen23's badges

alaen23's favorite FMLs

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46145) - you deserved it (4662)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

#20803453
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41310) - you deserved it (7872)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (46200)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (46200)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54778) - you deserved it (6482)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML

#20786957
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52177) - you deserved it (3351)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by me:( - United States (Michigan)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44767) - you deserved it (16476)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92428) - you deserved it (10329)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

#20773825
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56094) - you deserved it (3894)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by mike - United States

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73136) - you deserved it (3515)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44075) - you deserved it (6165)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44858) - you deserved it (3874)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42366) - you deserved it (4027)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: