About al122397 : Well hi I'm maddi and I'm just the average weirdo. Lets be friends ;)
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Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49405) - you deserved it (3140)
On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (42774)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (52861) - you deserved it (7557)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42173) - you deserved it (10035)
On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44653) - you deserved it (18133)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44768) - you deserved it (7228)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34942) - you deserved it (7801)
On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48273) - you deserved it (5780)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52720) - you deserved it (9120)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62132) - you deserved it (5226)
On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)
Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41523) - you deserved it (6726)
On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54505) - you deserved it (9164)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44630) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42641) - you deserved it (5883)
On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States
Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42976) - you deserved it (3484)
On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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