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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31753) - you deserved it (2786)
On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (2881)
On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26089) - you deserved it (2137)
On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19289) - you deserved it (2562)
On 02/18/2010 at 12:31am - work - by buttcrack (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15942) - you deserved it (1609)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)
Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3125) - you deserved it (42292)
On 02/16/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16123) - you deserved it (2454)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States
Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4812) - you deserved it (21177)
On 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20641) - you deserved it (1245)
On 02/12/2010 at 7:04pm - misc - by ummmmEW - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11966) - you deserved it (1801)
On 02/11/2010 at 4:09am - intimacy - by stewiesclone - United States
Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6638) - you deserved it (18457)
On 02/08/2010 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19233) - you deserved it (9772)
On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5373) - you deserved it (17138)
On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24004) - you deserved it (16466)
On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (2885)
On 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm - kids - by 102496 - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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