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About akire1024 : It's been years since I created this. Time to edit. I live in Oregon, US. Always fucking wet. We have 3 seasons. Rainy season, cold windy raining season, and hot raining season. I have 2 roommates, My half blind, 30% deaf, diabetic father, and my current boyfriend. We should have a tv show there's so much drama.
Yup so that's about all I think I need to/want to put down here.
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Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, an making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
Today , I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though , cuz his hands made their way down to my boobs , which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
TODAY , I MET MY GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS. HER HUGE , EX-MARINE FATHER TOOK ME OUT BACK , SAYING HE WANTED TO SHOW ME SOMETHING. THAT SOMETHING WAS A MACHETE. HE SAVAGELY BURIED IT IN A TREE STUMP AND SAID , ( SON , IF YOU BREAK MY DAUGHTER'S HEART , THAT'LL BE YOUR DICK. ) REAL FML
Today... I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister... "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." fat FML
Today, I found out mah girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML
2day I ralaasd a noxious, unforgiving fart in ma cubicla not tinking anyting of it. You know, ona of tosa sulfurou cloud you gat ta morning aftar a faw good baars. Momant latar, ma managar walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in ta morning, no ona alsa is around. FML
Friday 27 March 2015