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aj521z

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aj521z

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  • Number of visits : 142
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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aj521z's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

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aj521z's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64547) - you deserved it (16396)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79953) - you deserved it (8255)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

#20562509
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (5533)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31292) - you deserved it (5897)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML

#20556485
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39547) - you deserved it (4930)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43609) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (2697) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32599) - you deserved it (7218)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

#20554606
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50469) - you deserved it (6595)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47465) - you deserved it (3174)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49123) - you deserved it (11634)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46466) - you deserved it (6016)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (11551)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (2597)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States



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