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by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health
by bob / 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Money
by Bonding_boys / 12/17/2012 at 11:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML
by Cold / 12/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 3:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by uh-oh / 03/25/2012 at 1:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
by dummy / 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/19/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm / South Africa / Animals
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
by drunk / 03/06/2010 at 2:38am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by Happyforeverx / 10/25/2009 at 11:30am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I was getting frisky with my girlfriend. It was going well until we had to put our clothes… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…