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You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (8042)
On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend and I were exchanging some naughty pictures. I accidentally sent one to everybody on my contacts, including my ex, my boss, and even Pizza Hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12610) - you deserved it (51672)
On 06/20/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was using the bathroom in a department store. When I was finished, I couldn't get the stall door open. I am claustrophobic and I freaked out and and started shouting for help. A 6 year old boy got the door open for me. It turns out I was pushing when I should have been pulling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6788) - you deserved it (35233)
On 06/18/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by ToiletTony (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39672) - you deserved it (11909)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17793) - you deserved it (45246)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10179) - you deserved it (74885)
On 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38644) - you deserved it (6727)
On 05/16/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6657) - you deserved it (49337)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by OuttaNowhere81 (man) - United States (California)
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21849) - you deserved it (42683)
On 05/05/2009 at 10:17am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15288) - you deserved it (45864)
On 05/04/2009 at 7:27pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21423) - you deserved it (54871)
On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56411) - you deserved it (3557)
On 05/02/2009 at 1:05pm - health - by sicktomystomach (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I used an airplane bathroom. I used a paper seat cover because I didn't want my butt to touch the seat. The seat cover clogged the toilet. I stuck my hand in and fished the seat cover out. I essentially stuck my hand into an airplane toilet because I didn't want my ass to touch the seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10168) - you deserved it (52537)
On 04/21/2009 at 5:30am - misc - by Jen (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6108) - you deserved it (59216)
On 04/17/2009 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a window seat on a bus full of people when I saw a person lying motionless in a gutter. I jumped up, nearly hysterical, screaming for the driver to stop because there was a guy really hurt on the road. An emergency stop and huge commotion ensued. It turned out to be some garbage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20435) - you deserved it (39781)
On 04/07/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by nextstopplz - New Zealand (Auckland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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