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You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11106) - you deserved it (20164)
On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (44087)
On 08/26/2010 at 1:33am - animals - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27837) - you deserved it (8843)
On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)
Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (15247)
On 06/15/2010 at 3:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (2517)
On 02/20/2010 at 11:22am - love - by Bilirubin (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8585) - you deserved it (14306)
On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15 minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16611) - you deserved it (4413)
On 01/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bali_Boil (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I finally had enough money to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring, which I was going to pick up after work. On my way to work, I slid on the ice and crashed into a parked vehicle. The damage to my car is almost twice the amount of the ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (2665)
On 11/30/2009 at 6:24pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I applied some things I learned reading a "How to please a woman" book. My wife was in heaven until it was over, then she started crying and yelling about the only way I would learn those things is if I was having an affair. I explained but she doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18833) - you deserved it (1697)
On 11/19/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (7270)
On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37280) - you deserved it (3182)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57470) - you deserved it (2878)
On 08/11/2009 at 1:57pm - work - by aw-wtf (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43528) - you deserved it (2926)
On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)
Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8741) - you deserved it (56151)
On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States
Today, I was cleaning my old neighbor's bathroom, because he asked me to and I didn't want to be rude. Plus, I was getting paid. He told me to "get the floor pearly white." So I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. Turns out the floor tiles are naturally a dull yellowish. I didn't get paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40161) - you deserved it (4702)
On 07/15/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by ughhh123456789 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Monday 17 June 2013
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