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aimeegoldberg

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 9:26pm) | Search for a member

aimeegoldberg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 473
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About aimeegoldberg : Yum. Cold. KIWIS

aimeegoldberg's page activity

Visits<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 6:55am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:11pm<b>XZapTapX</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:08pm<b>knt_rocks</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 2:42am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 2:03pm<b>theweasel</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:27am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 10:40am<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:07am<b>AliceLiddel</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 11:06pm<b>SoulAmeliorate</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 4:47pm<b>3051628</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Mikenator23</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 2:55pm<b>Troubles316</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:04am<b>Alchemist_21</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:59am<b>grayhounds</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 10:02am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:50pm<b>YoloXboxSwag</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 9:17am<b>xAmybbx</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 11:33pm

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aimeegoldberg's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML

#21063667
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36208) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by I must suck at singing (woman) - United States

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (39332)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44129) - you deserved it (8806)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50806) - you deserved it (4177)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

#20985487
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43958) - you deserved it (5981)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm - health - by goingtothegym (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39352) - you deserved it (8000)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (39009)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45424) - you deserved it (2895)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37533) - you deserved it (12044)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41636) - you deserved it (3661)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18177) - you deserved it (37347)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49493) - you deserved it (9254)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48501) - you deserved it (8060) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52950) - you deserved it (8011)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)



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