Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 10:03pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Ottawa, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 January 1998 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2546
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About aha_awkward_ : • 18 👽
• Wes Anderson 🎥
• Quentin Tarantino 💉
• Criminal Minds 💀
• Game of Thrones 👑
• Hannibal🍷🔪
• Cats 🐱
• Insta: becomingjupiter 🎀

aha_awkward_'s page activity

Visits<b>trashyant</b> - 15 hours ago<b>crayon_chomper</b> - 22 hours ago<b>jordanrecatto</b> - yesterday at 6:47pm<b>luxlarius</b> - yesterday at 5:07pm<b>platypus546</b> - yesterday at 4:28pm<b>utrax</b> - yesterday at 7:32am<b>oobergoober89</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:54pm<b>Riveria</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:54pm<b>infernoblaze84</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:19pm<b>Crazion</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:39pm<b>Untouchable3369</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:21pm<b>SabrinaEpic3</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 6:24pm<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:54pm<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:36pm<b>AudiLover21</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 1:27pm<b>slinginbiscuits</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 1:11pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:46am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 1:02am

Fucked!<b>Untouchable3369</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:21am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:00am<b>trashyant</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 3:33am<b>tiger820</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:52pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:10am<b>ScottVining</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:48pm<b>DS0128</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:28pm<b>Berber260</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:11pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:49am<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:06pm<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:17am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:35pm<b>ircs56</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:47pm<b>MrKJM</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 2:04am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 8:09pm<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:16pm<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:08pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:44am

aha_awkward_'s FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of aha_awkward_'s badges

aha_awkward_'s favorite FMLs

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (59396) - you deserved it (68221)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML


I agree, your life sucks (70480) - you deserved it (13591)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML


I agree, your life sucks (22461) - you deserved it (53929)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML


I agree, your life sucks (69969) - you deserved it (17676)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML


I agree, your life sucks (86697) - you deserved it (8950)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19130) - you deserved it (29124)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19325) - you deserved it (74196)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (7337)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (7528)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: