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Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70288) - you deserved it (4154)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70935) - you deserved it (8740)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39722) - you deserved it (11216)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7128) - you deserved it (23122)
On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7153) - you deserved it (14862)
On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)
Today, I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7538) - you deserved it (28986)
On 01/30/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Hubris - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5248) - you deserved it (11500)
On 01/29/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by jalopenos - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (4876)
Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13151) - you deserved it (6342)
On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26563) - you deserved it (1572)
On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML
I agree, your life sucks (4979) - you deserved it (18875)
On 01/15/2009 at 6:14am - love - by Hth - United States (Delaware)
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2636) - you deserved it (31129)
On 12/30/2008 at 6:14am - misc - by Simon - Sent from mobile version
Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4548) - you deserved it (46854)
On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13745) - you deserved it (4921)
On 12/09/2008 at 2:01am - misc - by gui909 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my brand new (and very expensive) laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one! Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind it makes a cool sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13947) - you deserved it (2500)
On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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