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agent47crows

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agent47crows
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 February 1983 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 1658
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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agent47crows's favorite FMLs

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77129) - you deserved it (9993)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43972) - you deserved it (13048)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8779) - you deserved it (30508)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8394) - you deserved it (40684)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair. FML

#3826
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7696) - you deserved it (29668)

On 01/30/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Hubris - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML

#3269
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6595) - you deserved it (16232)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by jalopenos - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (5372)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13817) - you deserved it (6469)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

#1196
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5411) - you deserved it (20309)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:14am - love - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML

#632
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3195) - you deserved it (39123)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:14am - misc - by Simon - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5145) - you deserved it (51067)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

#475
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16337) - you deserved it (5465)

On 12/09/2008 at 2:01am - misc - by gui909 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brand new (and very expensive) laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one! Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind it makes a cool sound. FML

#458
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18394) - you deserved it (3356)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

#450
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (4064)

On 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm - misc - by Kerlane - Sent from mobile version



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