agent47crows

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agent47crows

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 February 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2901
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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agent47crows's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:24pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 7:16am

agent47crows's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

agent47crows's favorite FMLs

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

by janedoe / 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

by #201 / 02/05/2009 at 8:23am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

by Huge A Hole / 02/01/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

by Ah hell / 01/31/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML

by jalopenos / 01/29/2009 at 5:27am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Work

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

by j4y / 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

by stellarshaun / 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

by Ohai / 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

by Hth / 01/15/2009 at 6:14am / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML

by Simon / 12/30/2008 at 6:14am / Miscellaneous

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

by Behemoth2 / 12/14/2008 at 12:15am / Transportation

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

by gui909 / 12/09/2008 at 2:01am / Transportation

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML

by harry / 12/06/2008 at 2:51am / Geek

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

by Kerlane / 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm / Transportation

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

by Kerlane / 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm / Transportation